One Week Away....

I had a lovely time with my aunt and uncle visiting in London along with a short trip to Barcelona. Family is truly grounding. We also saw a WONDERFUL show called War Horse. The puppetry was so realistic but more importantly, it's amazing how this puppet evokes so much emotion. I found it to be a wonderful spectacle but also extremely moving. The love of a boy for his horse and the issue of World War I collide to tell a powerful story about loyalty, love, and the destruction of war. I was very moved - The National Theatre does wonderful shows.

Into the Woods opens in a week's time. I am very excited but also very nervous. It's very interesting having finished Adler. I remember starting Adler so worried that I wouldn't remember anything I learned there. In many ways, I haven't remember SPECIFIC things teacher's said. I haven't even looked at the journal I kept with notes (I stopped taking notes by the last term). But a movement teacher said to me in my last year: It's in your bones. And I think it's true. Adler taught me discipline and awareness. I know that I have to do character work before I can truly delve into a character. I also know that I have to neutralize my body in order to perform or fully engage in a rehearsal. It's calming, almost a relief. My nerves have already started... but knowing that I have certain techniques to not only center myself, but to also hook myself into my character is very comforting.

As an actor, I am very self conscious. I am not very confident in my work, but I love and strive for the truth of the work. There is never a "right" performance or a "perfect" performance. But I know that if I do not prepare myself in a certain way I am inhibiting my work. As much as I am not in drama school anymore having teachers tell me - WHAT ARE YOUR ACTIONS? WHAT WAS THAT? I still have their voices in my head... When I lie on the floor and do my voice and speech warm up I remember... FOCUS. RELAX.

It's amazing how much the body and mind remember.

I'm now at a point with Cinderella where I can explore a bit more... I can begin to let go of the cerebral work I've done - and even the preconceived notions I had of her. What I love about theatre and acting in general is the spontaneity. Yes, I have to worry about coming in on time and if my notes are ok at times... but really? I have learned over the past two years from both Adler and from my voice teacher - If I've done my homework and warmed up fully - the work is already done. It's already there. I don't need to try and put something on - the body remembers. It's just focus... meditation.

And really... I haven't found that type of concentration, love for escape/dual reality of both being myself and another person in anything but the theatre. Maybe people find fulfillment elsewhere... but theatre allows me to use my head to create and my body to let go of my head. I do get discouraged a lot but it's the love of the show that reminds that ultimately - I love this.