Embrace the Transition

Embrace the Transition.

Transitions are that liminal space where we are neither in one place or the other.  It's like if someone takes a photograph of you running - that picture represents the transition: in the process of leaving somewhere and going to something.

I have had many transitions in my (short) life.  But this transition, moving from London back to New York, is perhaps my most conflicted.  I am also perhaps most aware of this transition because it is so physical.  I am literally leaving one country for another.

But why this transition?  Surely I did it before...

Yes, I have done it before.  But this transition is so full of conflicted feelings.  Why?  What I am leaving (London) has been the culmination of a year in which I both lived a 'dream' and allowed myself to 'live' (socially, academically, theatrically) in the moment and achieve a contentment I had been yearning for YEARS (dare I say, my adolescence?).  But what I am going back to is family, friends, love, and a city that is so full of dreams and drive that propel me forward.  New York inspires me unlike any other city I've been too.

It's like that Alicia Keys song: Empire State of Mind (and Billy Joel's 'New York State of Mind' but Alicia Keys' version embodies the inspiration of New York that I feel.  It reminds me of why I love New York so much).

So with these conflicting feelings (and they go much deeper than described above), I am attempting to embrace the transition.  It's hard leaving a place that I've identified with and grown from - especially the friendships.  Like many, I feel a bit lost, in a liminal place, and not really sure of my footing.  Even writing this blog feels a bit... unsure.  There's a part of me that feels like I am returning to what I know but refreshed while I also know that certain things I've gained here in London will stick and some will fall away. 

I am nervous about going back, sad to leave, but I also feel that it is time.  I wouldn't trade what I've gotten here in London and I will miss the friends I've made and the experience I've gained.  But life moves on, it is moving along with everyone.  And New York is the next step.

It's just that the transition is the place of the unknown.  The unknowable.  And it's frightening but also so full of suspense.  And by suspense, I mean the oppositional emotions of excitement and fear.

I'm going to miss this place.  But I don't know how I will truly feel until I leave.

That's what the transition is... truly being in the moment and just getting grips and going along for the ride.  Sometimes being in the moment is exhilarating and sometimes it's like now: so complicated and confusing that there is a loss of a sense of self.  Because the Self, the person, is transitioning not just physically, but emotionally as well.  Ironically, it's also in this moment, the uncertain, to just trust the Self that it will figure things out because despite the feeling of uncertainty, the Self knows what it is, it's just transitioning and shifting right now.

As the Brits say:  Sort it out.

As Dot says to George in Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George (my favorite Sondheim musical) in the song 'Move On':

Stop worrying where you're going, move on
If you can know where you're going, you've gone
Just keep moving on.

I chose, and my world was shaken--so what?
The choice may have been mistaken
but choosing was not.
You have to move on.

Look at what you want,
Not at where you are,
Not at what you'll be.
Look at all the things you've done for me:
Opened up my eyes
Taught me how to see...

Sung by Bernadette Peters:
 

And by the 2008 Broadway Revival/Menier Chocolate Factory Production  (that I saw 3 times... obsessed much?):

Come to the Cabaret!

This year has been hugely healing, productive, and has helped me 'break out' of my shell socially, academically, and artistically.  My most recent endeavor with the UCL Musical Theatre Society is something completely new: producing.  It's very exciting, different, and educational to be on the other side of the table, so to speak.  Below I am including the poster for Cabaret.  If any of you who read this are in London please do come along and see this great show the 9-11 of June.

A Piece of History

Over the past month, Britain has undergone an election, a hung parliament, and a coalition between the Conservative and Liberal Democratic Parties.  Witnessing an election in a different country is absolutely fascinating.  I have to thank Ben Kelly for explaining the British Parliamentary system to me.  Even though leaders represent parties here, it is not the people who vote for their parties' leaders, it is the members (MP's = Member of Parliament) of the party that determine their leader.  So when election time comes, people vote for the specific party and their issues.  In my mind, this seems a bit more focused on issues at hand, versus an 'image' of a specific person.  In Britain, it's normally the Conservative or Labour party that have the majority in parliament (think Republicans and Democrats), but the difference is, with multiple parties, MPs don't necessarily stick to a clear 'Conservative' or 'Labour' point of view like in the US with the Democrats and Republicans.  While America has other parties, its essentially become a two-party system.  Whilst in Britain voting for a party represents your own local constituency and you have more say in Parliament based on your party, not an individual.  This makes more sense when remembering that Britain is made up of Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.  They have local parliaments that also have representation in London. 

It's very complicated and I won't go too much into it.  But VERY interesting, especially coming from America and seeing how America is very much about image.  For example, Gordon Brown was never pictured with his children and David Cameron's wife just revealed she was pregnant (she is about 5 months).  American politics are dominated by how the individual man can relate to the leader and that also means seeing their families and for better or for worse, focusing on their family image over politics at times.  It's like American Presidents are America's royalty in some way...

I'm talking about all of this because on Tuesday, I had the opportunity to (sort of) witness History.  David Cameron was decided by the coalition government between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats to be the Prime Minister.  It is a tradition since Britain is a Constitutional Monarchy, that once Prime Minister is decided he/she must go to the Queen (or King) and 'ask' for her approval.  (Now, really it's the Queen who starts the conversation not the Prime Minister.  This can be witnessed in the movie The Queen).

I received a call from Ben saying that he and our friend Izzy were going to Buckingham Palace to essentially 'see' David Cameron go into the Palace and then go to move into 10 Downing Street.  Now, inauguration day in America is huge.  Here, because things happen so quickly (or in this case, Britain didn't have a government for five days), it's not as big of a deal.  I ended up getting the tube to Green Park soon to find out they were at Downing Street.

I felt like I was in some stereotypical British movie where the American is running through parks, next to Buckingham Palace, to meet someone urgently.

Alas, I have shin splints and my feet hurt terribly days later.

I made it to Downing Street, and while nothing really happened it was very amusing to see:

1. The small crowd
2. The scuffle between a Labour supporter and very very passionate Tories (Tories are another word for Conservatives, but click the link to get a better definition).
3. Regardless of political leanings, a feeling of witnessing something a part of history... sort of.
4. The traditional jingling of kings to symbolise the Prime Minister's movement into 10 Downing Street

All in all, we didn't see much.  We ended up going to a Pub near by and seeing David Cameron's car drive by. 

I have to say, if I were to vote here (as I believe in the true civic duty to vote), I would not be supporting the Tories  at all.  But, I am glad I got to witness a bit of British history... however contested.